Monday, May 25, 2009

Is there an afterlife?

Hello fellow readers today I am going to discuss the topic of death. I know something that seems a little out of the ordinary but for me not so much. You see for some reason I find it so interesting... the way we just cease to exist and we have no idea what really happens after the fact.

I personally am not a highly religious person, don't get me wrong I do believe in God or at least a higher being other than myself. When I was little I would picture that you were greeted at a big gate w/ St.Peter (I think he's the one) checking your name off the list as you pass by as he stands at a wooden podium w/ a floor that consist of cloud like materiel. Other times I was even be too afraid to think about it b/c it just seemed the lights are out and then you know? or have any ideas?

I was exposed to death at a young age. My three grandparents had all passed away before I was in the 2nd grade. My most memorable experience was with my grandmother in Cleveland (my mom's mom) My mother and I were up there for at least the last month or so of her life, while my dad and his sisters where here in Oklahoma as their mother passed away. Both passed w/i a month from each other. I recall having to walk to the bus station to go visit her in the hospital. I remember her coming home to my aunt's house and waking up to her vomiting blood. They then had me go for walk with my cousin Dave while the paramedics took her back to the hospital where she later passed on. I don't really remember her funeral as much as I remember her wake. I remember wearing a pink dress and seeing her in the casket and my mom and her sister saying that they were waiting for her to just wake up. I don't recall being scared or nervous or anything at all. It just was what it was.

Now working at the emergency room I again deal w/ death on regular bases. The first time I walked into a room where the patient had passed away I almost expected some sort spiritual feeling or maybe a presence of something. But there was nothing .... just nothingness. I don't think its like the movies... I don't think you hover above and watch the Dr's work on you. I think your just gone. I think and know most are gone before they even hit our door. I do believe that you have a spirit or soul that leaves your body but where it goes after that I don't know. I don't think that you necessarily go to "heaven" I think that you just go to a different plane of existence. But I do think your spirit/soul/presence can visit those that are still in the here and now. There are times that I have felt my grandmother Bradford (dad's mom) around me.

The story of her presence that stands out the most to me is about two years ago I was sleeping and my dog Casey had a bad seizure (he is epileptic). He was about 10yrs old at the time I was home alone and this was the worse one that I had seen him have in a really long time. I truly thought he was going to die that night. I had him in bed w/ me and he seemed to have a hard time breathing and I was crying -- if he was going to die I just wanted it over with you know -- I cried out to my grandma asking for help and I swear to you right after I did that Casey's breathing went normal and he turned and licked my nose like nothing was wrong. I honestly believe she was there!!

So what are your thoughts on the subject?? Do you think there is a such thing as heaven or do you believe in ghost or spirits? If so I would love to hear your stories!

Currently craving chocolate and watching Trauma: Life in the ER


Anonymous said...

I am amazed that you remember going for a walk with me that day. Sorry, but I totally do not remember that. As only a woman could do even at that age you remember very little but do remember the pink dress. How do you girls do that?????

Lopez said...

This is a pretty deep in which I have put much thought into myself. I, too, believe that there is a God even though I am not religious and don't go to church every week [or devote my life to organized religion], but I do believe He is there and watching over us.

But I also believe in ghosts and I had one guy tell me that if you believe in ghosts then you don't believe in God, and I do not think that is true. I think that there is a god and I think that there are ghosts...and I would love to see a ghost even though it would scare the HELL out of me! I want to go on a Haunted Destination Vacation...that sounds SO MUCH fun to me!

I often ponder what happens when we is such a scary's like when you are put under for remember NONE OF don't dream, you just wake up and BAM! it's done...I think that is what death is. And that thought right there is scary.

I am afraid of death. I don't want to be, but I am.

::end scene::


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